“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:5
After Greta was born, I started an online baby hair accessory business that kept me pretty busy. I was sewing a few bows from my Spring 2016 collection when I got the call. I had felt a small nodule on the right side of my neck for almost 6 months before I decided to get it checked out. I had been a nurse for about 4 years at this point and I honestly didn’t think much of it. I was anticipating the results of my lymph node biopsy, and my stomach was in knots for days as I awaited the (hopefully) good news. Then the phone rang. My hands fumbled for the phone and I answered before the second ring. “Hello” my voice cracked. “Good afternoon, is this Paige Sonnier?” “Yes, ma’am it is.” “Ok, Paige we have the results from your biopsy, and I’m so sorry to inform you that it was positive. You have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. We will need to schedule a PET scan as soon as possible so that the doctor can properly stage the cancer.” I put the phone down and glanced at my fairly new sewing machine. Then I looked down and noticed all of the tiny pieces of fabric that had fallen to the floor. In an instant my life as I had known it was exactly like those pieces of fabric; torn and ragged little fragments that were scattered all around me. So many questions ran through my mind as I tried to pull myself together. “How can I have cancer? I’m only 24 years old. What about my family, John Blake, and Greta? Am I going to die?” I clung desperately to hope as I shuddered at the thought of that last question. Greta was napping (thankfully) and didn’t witness my harrowing meltdown. That day was easily the worst day of my life, and at that moment I had no idea what I was about to endure.
The official diagnosis was Stage 2 Nodular Sclerosis Classical Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I remember people telling me how “lucky” I was to have this cancer and not another kind, but I didn’t feel “lucky” at all. I felt cheated. I felt angry and depressed because I was in the prime of my life. I was newly married with a beautiful baby girl who needed me, and instead of savoring this precious time, I now had to face a giant that was threatening to rip it all away. Thankfully with God on my side, here I am. I’m now healed and completely cancer-free. It has been one hell of a battle, and I’ve gained a whole new perspective on life through this experience. Lessons that I will always be thankful for learning at such a young age, even though the trial was incredibly difficult. God truly is with us during the toughest of storms, and I’m so grateful for His healing and mercy on my life.
“So let the waters rise I will stand as the oceans roar. Let the Earth shake beneath me, let the mountains fall. You are God over the storm, and I am Yours.”